Lamespotting » Jokes

You’ve seen all those cute lists on Facebook about how precious babies are. Unfortunately, they don’t stay small and precious forever. So here’s a sequel to those lists:

Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

You’ll be creative in improvising when you can’t find a coaster
You’ll fondly remember the days before remote controls were invented as you’ll never see yours again
You’ll be amazed that your cell phone will work once it has been dried out after a dunking in the toilet
You’ll figure out quick and easy ways to reattach wallpaper
You won’t mind a slobbery kiss, but you’ll draw the line on using tongue
You’ll learn all these neat and nifty keyboard shortcuts as your cordless mouse in is the potato bin
You will begin to sniff every puddle of liquid in the house
You’ll be amazed at how much poop a pair of regular cotton underwear can hold
Your car will smell like barf and sour milk and you’ll never find the source. Eventually you’ll just roll down the windows and stop caring.
You’ll tremble with fear when your hear “uh-oh”
Your PVR will be full of kids shows
You’ll have to find another “quiet place” as you’ll no longer be able to use the bathroom as your sanctuary.
You’ll eventually hit “critical mess” where no matter how many more toys get strewn about, it won’t look any messier
You’ll learn which kinds of cake sprinkles don’t get digested