Lamespotting » Jokes

Facebook and Twitter icons keep getting bigger

Lamespotting — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 08:00:17 +0000

Is it just me, or are those “follow me on Facebook and Twitter” icons taking up more and more screen real estate these days? Just so I don’t feel out of the loop, I made some as large as this WordPress theme would allow:

Next week, I’ll hone my JavaScript and CSS skills to create a “Share me” button that will autoexpand and won’t go away no matter what you do.

How to solve Fredericton’s bad driver problem

Lamespotting — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 12:40:25 +0000

It’s already been well established that Fredericton has a problem with bad drivers. City Hall is unable to find a solution, so I am providing my own. Nothing spreads faster than a scary chain e-mail, so copy & paste this and send it to everyone you know, especially minivan and SUV owners:

Warning from the Fredericton Police Dept:

It has come to our attention that a gang from Halifax is initiating new members in the Fredericton area. Part of their initiation is to shoot at random vehicles that are doing the following:

Stopping in merge lanes

Stopping in the middle of roundabouts

Blocking traffic while waiting to get into Tim Horton’s

Blocking intersections during rush hour

Not stopping for pedestrians

The Fredericton Police would like to reassure the public that they are safe as long as they don’t do any of the things listed above. We would also like to remind you that the gang that steals kidneys from people who bike on the sidewalks is still active.

Thank you.

Pee…in this place

Lamespotting — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:45:30 +0000

As seen on Twitter:

Reference (in case you didn’t get it)

Toronto joke of the day

Lamespotting — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:53:03 +0000

What do they call 30cms of snow in Toronto?

Snowmageddon.

What do they call 30cms of snow in Fredericton?

Wimps.

Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

Lamespotting — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 08:02:43 +0000

You’ve seen all those cute lists on Facebook about how precious babies are. Unfortunately, they don’t stay small and precious forever. So here’s a sequel to those lists:

Things you’ll learn once that cute baby turns into a toddler

You’ll be creative in improvising when you can’t find a coaster
You’ll fondly remember the days before remote controls were invented as you’ll never see yours again
You’ll be amazed that your cell phone will work once it has been dried out after a dunking in the toilet
You’ll figure out quick and easy ways to reattach wallpaper
You won’t mind a slobbery kiss, but you’ll draw the line on using tongue
You’ll learn all these neat and nifty keyboard shortcuts as your cordless mouse in is the potato bin
You will begin to sniff every puddle of liquid in the house
You’ll be amazed at how much poop a pair of regular cotton underwear can hold
Your car will smell like barf and sour milk and you’ll never find the source. Eventually you’ll just roll down the windows and stop caring.
You’ll tremble with fear when your hear “uh-oh”
Your PVR will be full of kids shows
You’ll have to find another “quiet place” as you’ll no longer be able to use the bathroom as your sanctuary.
You’ll eventually hit “critical mess” where no matter how many more toys get strewn about, it won’t look any messier
You’ll learn which kinds of cake sprinkles don’t get digested

Driver’s Handbook: Fredericton Edition

Lamespotting — Wed, 21 May 2008 00:42:27 +0000